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Impact at the Offset of Self Discovery

Metaphorical letter to help guide general reflection

What impact do I want to have in this lifetime? When will I know if I found the impact I want to have in the world? Does everyone find their purpose?

A great way to find answers or work through something that is weighing on you is by reflecting on it—writing is one clear way to bring light to what your mouth might not be ready to affirm.

Let’s give this a try!

Dear self,

I think I haven’t taken the time to check in with you in a while and I’ve lost my way. I’ve been feeling lonely, and I think it’s due to the fact that lately I’ve been neglecting the most important conversation, the one with myself. Life is a conversation, one filled with many misunderstandings at times, but if you lose the conversation with yourself—what you want to stand for, about the person you want to become—or even with those around you, you will lose what makes you uniquely yourself. It’s easy to get lost, especially in a world of filters and 30 second features of perfect moments, but when that happens there’s a risk of becoming one of many and I don’t want that; I don’t want to end up living society’s life instead of my own.

For the most part, I’d say I am an enthusiastic person but lately I’ve been questioning where all the love and courage in the world are hiding? If courage and love uplift the world, why isn’t there more? Are people busy or on an involuntary strike? It’s easy to be on strike without even knowing we are doing it to ourselves. The place where fear lives is the place where growth lies; when pondering on the type of impact I want to have in the world or more precisely for the people around me, it came down to reflecting on what difficult things do I consistently do and what level of effort would I be willing to put in to do more. Basically, where-in lies my courage and love?

Reflecting on the state of the world, which I at times feel a whirlwind of emotions over, led me to a simple answer, I want to be a leader! I want to be a person that others turn to, a person who does things passionately and one who strives for excellence—I can’t be a leader if I’m not willing to put in the work and aim to excel. However, when I say excellence I don’t mean going back to old ways of perfectionism, but rather I want to set myself up for success, which entails to keep learning, being open minded, and passionate in all I do.

There’s this poem by Rabindranath Tagore about a life not lived to the fullest that resonated with me from the first moment I heard it. Music is my usual go to for emotional comfort, but there’s something about this poem that awakens my soul. It reads like this, “Spring has passed. Summer has gone. Winter is here… and the song that I meant to sing remains unsung. For I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument.” For me, this poem represents the freedom we can all experience when we let go of the idea of perfectionism. Losing time waiting for something, even for ourselves to be what we perceive as perfect before sharing a talent, a passion, or our full self means we are depriving ourselves of freedom to act and just be. I learned to deal with the demands of perfectionism when I was a ballet dancer. With ballet, technique is key and there is a strict indoctrination to follow to get it right and stand out. Looking back, I think even if I was confident in what I was doing and on stage performing, the most confident I’ve been is when I stopped focusing on perfectionism and changed my mindset towards positivity, excellence (being prepared instead of wanting to be perfect), and being impactful through my work and self. It can be hard to admit but I have a lot to offer, I think most people do and we can’t be shy to say it.

I want to do better! How many people must think that but how do I move from a wish to reality? The line from manifesting something and experiencing it is thin. At the end of the day, for me it’s about how much gut I have to do better and how many people I help. I live my life wanting to do more so why would I be feeling lost? It’s when it’s hard and we are faced with challenges that we get creative and learn who we are, so I never stop pushing for what I want. And now when I feel stressed, I try to reflect on whether I’m stressed about having the skills or if I’m stressing about the pressures of perfectionism. Most often I’m noticing that it’s rarely about the lack of skills or ability but the fear or apprehension of doing something or saying something knowing it won’t be perfect.

Perfect should never be the objective. Really it is the small daily insignificant improvements when done repeatedly that lead to amazing results—consistency is the master and mastery is a process so being a leader in any field is about falling in love with being a novice, in the sense of always being curious and filled with a desire to learn more.

Leadership is a boost to self-esteem gained through being outside our perceived comfort zone. I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone to create my own space within the fitness world to become a leader in a holistic approach to wellness. I’m taking the steps to be so good at what I do that my motto and business cannot be ignored. On days where it isn’t growing fast enough or going as I would hope and work for, I build up my resilience through my community—community can mean many things to different people, but it comes down to who surrounds you. The people you interact with help build you up and your passion. So, the people around us, at work, in dance or fitness classes, whether it’s virtual or in person, influence your energy and can act as a reflection of where you are in your life; luckily, it’s one factor we all have a certain control over. For me, it’s through the communities I’ve been part of throughout my life that I have found what’s important to me and that I’ve been able today to capitalize my passions.

I love the saying “nothing fails like success” as it’s a good reminder that it won’t be easy, finding the impact you want to leave/make in the world is a process of searching and finding out what type of person you are. When I found the impact I wanted to have I learned that at every turn I had to think like a beginner, in the sense that if I want to succeed and be unique in what I offer I can never stop learning. Really, you don’t wait to be successful before you do things with excellence in mind, you have to start now to make it to success. I always want my clients to get the best out of everything I offer them, I never do something halfway or think I’ll spend more time creating new content and playlists when I’m a big business, no, I do it now because leaders get it done and I want to be a leader in my field, which means putting in more work at every step. It’s when you’re starting out that you have to put in the time and effort; if you aren’t inclined to do it now, it won’t change no matter what position you hold or how successful a business you have.

We are at our best when we feel balanced and having a purpose to drive the conservation makes all the difference. Next time you’re working on the conversation with yourself or others, remember that if everyone decided to be kind, loving, punctual, and honorable rather than aim for perfectionism, the world would be in much better shape. It certainly would have more dedicated beings working towards betterment and making a positive impact in the world. Changing the world starts from within and it’s more attainable than we think since really it starts with one action. It’s okay, you got this!

Dear self, don’t let anyone talk you out of being you and working towards having the impact you want. Don’t be silenced—be bold, be positive, enthusiastic, courageous, be proud, be unapologetically happy and most of all, be YOU!

Published by barrefitwarriors

Nicole Grant is the proud owner and Master Trainer of BFW! Nicole was a professional dancer for over 25 years. She graduated from Ryerson University's Bachelor of Arts Degree in Dance/Pedagogy and over the year acquired a number of certifications in many different forms of fitness. To name a few, she is a certified Yoga Instructor in Hatha, Yin, Restorative & Gravity Yoga. Nicole is also a Certified American Barre Technique Master Instructor, and a Piloxing/Piloxing Barre Instructor.

31 thoughts on “Impact at the Offset of Self Discovery

  1. Great reminder that we should pursue our goals and when things get hard it is ok to step back but dont let others deem your way.

  2. Such an inspirational message! I find that journaling can really help with self discovery. You could also enlist the help of a life coach. They will guide and support you to what is going on inside you and teach you how to accept yourself for who you are. Love the poem 💕

  3. Wow…something that sounds so simple really turned out to be deep and meaningful! What a great read! I especially love the last paragraph! I’ll be saving this for future inspiration! xoxo

  4. Your post came just when I needed to read something like this. Nothing fails like success is such a true statement, and I felt that most recently at work. You must be able to let go of things you can’t control and accept yourself.

  5. Writing to oneself is a really effective prompt to see and express things from a different perspective. Self discovery. Nice points.

  6. I loved this! I’m always considering how to stay true to myself and it is something I think a lot of people struggle with in this world. Many people just become what other people want them to be or what is expected of them.

  7. Life is full of surprises. Some for the better, and others for the worse. What we learn from these are all life lessons.

    1. What a powerful message!! I absolutely love the question you asked before the letter about what impact do you want to have in this lifetime. I am definitely going to start writing these reflective letters to myself. What a beautiful and inspirational read, thank you so much for sharing!

  8. Thank you for sharing your story. As a mom of a little one I feel like I have forgotten to deeply reflect on my life and what my soul needs at this time. I’ve also struggled with perfectionism my whole life, as well as anxiety. Sometimes I wonder why I go through all of this and I try to remember the whole picture and who I am. I keep thinking of my soul’s intention and I hold on to that positive energy which keeps me going!

  9. What a beautiful read! I’ve never heard the saying “nothing fails like success” before, but I absolutely adore it! I believe so strongly in self development and this post resonated with me a lot. Thank you!

  10. Great read! Loved reading it and it definitely resonate with me about what you wanted to convey.

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