Impact at the Offset of Self Discovery

Metaphorical letter to help guide general reflection

What impact do I want to have in this lifetime? When will I know if I found the impact I want to have in the world? Does everyone find their purpose?

A great way to find answers or work through something that is weighing on you is by reflecting on it—writing is one clear way to bring light to what your mouth might not be ready to affirm.

Let’s give this a try!

Dear self,

I think I haven’t taken the time to check in with you in a while and I’ve lost my way. I’ve been feeling lonely, and I think it’s due to the fact that lately I’ve been neglecting the most important conversation, the one with myself. Life is a conversation, one filled with many misunderstandings at times, but if you lose the conversation with yourself—what you want to stand for, about the person you want to become—or even with those around you, you will lose what makes you uniquely yourself. It’s easy to get lost, especially in a world of filters and 30 second features of perfect moments, but when that happens there’s a risk of becoming one of many and I don’t want that; I don’t want to end up living society’s life instead of my own.

For the most part, I’d say I am an enthusiastic person but lately I’ve been questioning where all the love and courage in the world are hiding? If courage and love uplift the world, why isn’t there more? Are people busy or on an involuntary strike? It’s easy to be on strike without even knowing we are doing it to ourselves. The place where fear lives is the place where growth lies; when pondering on the type of impact I want to have in the world or more precisely for the people around me, it came down to reflecting on what difficult things do I consistently do and what level of effort would I be willing to put in to do more. Basically, where-in lies my courage and love?

Reflecting on the state of the world, which I at times feel a whirlwind of emotions over, led me to a simple answer, I want to be a leader! I want to be a person that others turn to, a person who does things passionately and one who strives for excellence—I can’t be a leader if I’m not willing to put in the work and aim to excel. However, when I say excellence I don’t mean going back to old ways of perfectionism, but rather I want to set myself up for success, which entails to keep learning, being open minded, and passionate in all I do.

There’s this poem by Rabindranath Tagore about a life not lived to the fullest that resonated with me from the first moment I heard it. Music is my usual go to for emotional comfort, but there’s something about this poem that awakens my soul. It reads like this, “Spring has passed. Summer has gone. Winter is here… and the song that I meant to sing remains unsung. For I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument.” For me, this poem represents the freedom we can all experience when we let go of the idea of perfectionism. Losing time waiting for something, even for ourselves to be what we perceive as perfect before sharing a talent, a passion, or our full self means we are depriving ourselves of freedom to act and just be. I learned to deal with the demands of perfectionism when I was a ballet dancer. With ballet, technique is key and there is a strict indoctrination to follow to get it right and stand out. Looking back, I think even if I was confident in what I was doing and on stage performing, the most confident I’ve been is when I stopped focusing on perfectionism and changed my mindset towards positivity, excellence (being prepared instead of wanting to be perfect), and being impactful through my work and self. It can be hard to admit but I have a lot to offer, I think most people do and we can’t be shy to say it.

I want to do better! How many people must think that but how do I move from a wish to reality? The line from manifesting something and experiencing it is thin. At the end of the day, for me it’s about how much gut I have to do better and how many people I help. I live my life wanting to do more so why would I be feeling lost? It’s when it’s hard and we are faced with challenges that we get creative and learn who we are, so I never stop pushing for what I want. And now when I feel stressed, I try to reflect on whether I’m stressed about having the skills or if I’m stressing about the pressures of perfectionism. Most often I’m noticing that it’s rarely about the lack of skills or ability but the fear or apprehension of doing something or saying something knowing it won’t be perfect.

Perfect should never be the objective. Really it is the small daily insignificant improvements when done repeatedly that lead to amazing results—consistency is the master and mastery is a process so being a leader in any field is about falling in love with being a novice, in the sense of always being curious and filled with a desire to learn more.

Leadership is a boost to self-esteem gained through being outside our perceived comfort zone. I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone to create my own space within the fitness world to become a leader in a holistic approach to wellness. I’m taking the steps to be so good at what I do that my motto and business cannot be ignored. On days where it isn’t growing fast enough or going as I would hope and work for, I build up my resilience through my community—community can mean many things to different people, but it comes down to who surrounds you. The people you interact with help build you up and your passion. So, the people around us, at work, in dance or fitness classes, whether it’s virtual or in person, influence your energy and can act as a reflection of where you are in your life; luckily, it’s one factor we all have a certain control over. For me, it’s through the communities I’ve been part of throughout my life that I have found what’s important to me and that I’ve been able today to capitalize my passions.

I love the saying “nothing fails like success” as it’s a good reminder that it won’t be easy, finding the impact you want to leave/make in the world is a process of searching and finding out what type of person you are. When I found the impact I wanted to have I learned that at every turn I had to think like a beginner, in the sense that if I want to succeed and be unique in what I offer I can never stop learning. Really, you don’t wait to be successful before you do things with excellence in mind, you have to start now to make it to success. I always want my clients to get the best out of everything I offer them, I never do something halfway or think I’ll spend more time creating new content and playlists when I’m a big business, no, I do it now because leaders get it done and I want to be a leader in my field, which means putting in more work at every step. It’s when you’re starting out that you have to put in the time and effort; if you aren’t inclined to do it now, it won’t change no matter what position you hold or how successful a business you have.

We are at our best when we feel balanced and having a purpose to drive the conservation makes all the difference. Next time you’re working on the conversation with yourself or others, remember that if everyone decided to be kind, loving, punctual, and honorable rather than aim for perfectionism, the world would be in much better shape. It certainly would have more dedicated beings working towards betterment and making a positive impact in the world. Changing the world starts from within and it’s more attainable than we think since really it starts with one action. It’s okay, you got this!

Dear self, don’t let anyone talk you out of being you and working towards having the impact you want. Don’t be silenced—be bold, be positive, enthusiastic, courageous, be proud, be unapologetically happy and most of all, be YOU!